THIS MOMENT COUNTS · 30

Have you ever watched a movie with someone who absolutely loves it? Every few minutes, they lean over.
​
​“Watch this.”​
​“Did you notice that?”​
​“This next scene is brilliant.”

They want you to see what they see. To appreciate all the little details that make the movie so good.

And at first, you do. But then you don’t laugh at their favorite joke. So they explain why it’s funny. You aren’t particularly moved by a scene they love. So they explain why it’s brilliant.

And somehow, what was supposed to be a lovely evening watching a movie together turns into a discussion about why you should love it more than you do.

I think something very similar happens in many important presentations. Only this time, we’re the enthusiastic friend.

We know why our proposal makes sense. We’ve spent weeks, perhaps months, working through the details. We can see the opportunity. And naturally, we want the audience to see it, too.

But when we sense they might not be as enthusiastic as we are, we tend to explain more. Another argument. Another chart. Another reason why this is such a good idea.

Meanwhile.

The harder we try, the more skeptical they become.

This is a trust issue. Only perhaps not the one we think.

We usually worry about whether the audience trusts our judgment. But we don’t seem to trust theirs very much, either. And so, instead of asking what would make our proposal compelling to them, we try harder to explain why we find it so compelling. Why they should find it funny.

We explain the joke.

And when they don’t laugh, we explain it again. With more evidence. More enthusiasm. More insistence.

As opposed to finding out what makes them love a movie.

Here’s something to try before your next important talk.

Imagine your audience knew everything you know about your proposal. The strengths, the weaknesses, the uncertainties, and the alternatives.

Can you wholeheartedly trust them to make the decision?

If you hesitate, perhaps you’re asking yourself the wrong question when preparing your presentation.

Instead of asking: “How can I get them to choose what I propose?”

Try asking: “What would make them want to choose what I propose?”

It’s a subtle difference, but it changes what you look for.

The first question makes you search for arguments that will make it harder to say no. The second makes you curious about what would make your proposal genuinely attractive to them. Despite the inevitable weaknesses.

And often, the answer is already there. You’ve just been so busy explaining why you love the movie that you haven’t considered the possibility that they could love it for completely different reasons.

Now look at your presentation. Where do you speak to that?

When working with clients on this, we often discover that we’ve been putting the spotlight on entirely the wrong part of the proposal. Something you consider a minor detail might be exactly what makes the whole thing attractive to the audience.

It’s still basically the same proposal. With the exact same facts. But suddenly, the audience has a reason to care. Simply because you’ve turned the spotlight around a few degrees.

And that’s the interesting thing about trust. We spend so much effort trying to get our audience to trust us. But perhaps we’d be more successful if we built a case that allowed us to trust them a little more.

The newest Backstage Report has more on how to do that. In my experience, it makes life as a speaker a lot easier.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

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